lockdown

cut me up and throw at me what you got
we're fading away but i'm not letting it slip just yet
lightning-fast as things seemed to you and me
even when it feels like god and fate intervenes
fighting for what i'm clearly losing
defying destiny with no actual possibility
and we're at the twilight of what we are
but this ain't enough to break me or us
i can do this all day long
fighting for you even if it's a losing war
with my chest thumping faster as we stare on the white ceiling
just lying down and enjoying the silent symphony
i wished time was with us and locked us up forever




i prayed this morning. its what she said we should do. pray and hope. and frankly, there's no telling if this bears fruition or not; i've had my fair share of vigils and relentless prayers begging for something, only to never get what i wished for. but this? this is too much. this is something else. this is what i want and i won't let anything fuck this up. if it's not fucked up in itself.

i've been thinking and i can't stop doing so. this is unfair, and it never really is fair when things get good. but we'll see this through, we'll see this through..