i'll battle the world.

just when things were really looking up; just when every single little thing about life felt so right, something really bad just really has to happen. and i just don't get why it's always so unfair. but not this time. no, not this time. i won't let some un-fucking-seen force of fate or will of God to stop me this time. i'm so sick and tired of trying to just reason out why everything is happening, i'm better off battling the world if that's what it takes just to be by her side; to never lose her.

i obviously also hate short cordlines, brono for mixing this terrible concoction of extra joss and grand matador in a glass, which all three of us took straight, and i also hate my black-out sickness. i blame myself for sleeping on her when i said i wouldn't. but now that i'm up and a little less drunk and a little more sober, i just realized how depressing this really is.

last night, i was actually crying while talking to her. surprisingly, mat and bono didn't mind; that or they're just too piss-drunk. iunno. hans was right yesterday, too. it was bound to get crappier and crappier as the hours pass.


and it did.



and even faced with this... caged fate, i will try find the key and get the fuck out. because i'm sick and tired of losing people because i'm not doing anything. i'm done with that. so no matter what, yesterday will never be the last time we'll see each other. i'll battle the world if that's what it takes.