ouch that must hurt.

so here i am. blogging. again. despite the fact that i have a nasty looking bump WITH scratches attached. i can't believe how masochistic i really am. and i just realized that just now. because.. i was laughing my ass off while rolling in searing pain rooting from my forehead that i rammed against a wooden shelf after i finished to cover my dog's cage with a huge piece of wood to stave off the rain. so there you have it.


..when i touch it.XD

so yes. procrastination is setting in. again. i'm supposed to be reviewing for CJA tomorrow, so that i've something to write. other than that, i'm supposed to be sound asleep, resting the chaos that could be translated into my state of mind in normal terms. and after what seemed like only minutes, i never realized that time flew like a fucking thing that flies whenever i enjoy a conversation.

now i'm pitting my brains (again) to the extremes so that i can have something to write. and hopefully i don't smear our work with my drool if things get a bit lifeless while we're writing our entry. i'm trying to figure out what to wear for tomorrow in my head; taking into consideration the complication that is the wound that i accidentally inflicted to myself.

and now, me and my partner in crime M has decided upon a topic and is now in-your-face-ing each other with what we were trying to expect by tomorrow. i have.. what, five hours of sleep ahead of me? and i need to hit the sack soon or else i'll be a groggy mess of a writer by tomorrow. undoubtedly, of course, i have to prepare. its my first time to do this. and frankly, i'm quite... well.. anxious. its actually the first that i'm competing against people when it comes to writing. i've been writing about random stuff, like this, for example, almost all my teenage life. the most competition that i felt during my low-life standard as a writer would be M.

i admire and respect how she writes. to the point that i think i'm plagiarizing how she writes! which i actually think is what i'm doing right now.:D now M just logged off, leaving me with work to do..

...after i procrastinate.:D

and DONE. one game of warcraft. now i have to print shit. so toodles.:D

thank god she knows.



the guy i used to be

adrenaline is pumping through me right now. i couldn't possibly fathom the reason why, but i'm having those i-can't-sleep-even-if-i-have-some-place-else-to-go-tomorrow-and-i-have-to-wake-up-early moments. i'm watching DiCaprio make a fool out of himself in The Island. and its funny in a way, but really now, i don't have much of a choice. i've seen this movie wayy too many times before. but anyway, moving on.

i'm trying to make sense of everything that i've been thinking lately. and lately, i've thought of many things. i just realized how FAT i've become ever since last year. one of the defining points as of this year would really be, i got FAT.:D i'm trying to remember the person i used to be, but i just really couldn't. maybe times do really change. its hard to realize that things really do change. it sucks to admit that whatever i try to do, and whatever lie i make up to cover the old lie that went before that lie, the truth is always present in my head. it sucks to admit that i really still do belong to her. after everything, i still really do.

i realy don't get to have a say on it, which makes things more and more unfair. its an actual endless rift of i don't know what. but that doesn't stop me from knowing what it actually is. hardly anything can distract me nowadays. but then again, i have my ever so sarcastic band of bitches to distract me. like.. i dunno. there's bitching, food tripping, inside jokes, road tripping, skating, gossiping, making kwento and other righteous and unrighteous.

and just so you guys know who my bitches are, and just so you know that they're not the figment of my imagination, here's a list:

the eternal bitch. you get tight with her, and there's no dull moment. kidding. there's always a dull moment with M. and it's called awkward silence. it's amazing how we bonded like we've known each other since grade one.

..oh wait. we did knew each other since back then!XD

the primadonna. kidding. she's.. well.. she's what we call the imperious perfect. kidding, i just made that up. me and M will are always willing to scream our lungs out of joy because she is now showing signs of being human! which would be growing zits on her nearly spotless skin.:D

the female incinerator. you guys don't want to find out. why? because you'll have to find out the hard way. me and her started with senseless bitching back during one class. she's one swiss you don't wanna mess with. she's from canada.XD

the wife. no, i'm not romantically involved with her. so don't even get pumped with your thoughts. she's like a mother to everyone. why? because.. she looks like a lady!XD

the male incinerator. yes. he is. he's one hyper dude. you don't want to know. he gets to not sleep, which immediately dethrones me from my insomniac status. because compared to jutts, i'm just a pebble while he's a rock. and no, that's not because he's big. he's my bro and i gots his back.:D

the driver. what? he's the one driving us around now becuase i can't use the cars. but really, he's a reliable dood and he's also my skate buddy. we're like brothers, him and i. why? well, its because we hang out more often than we should. but atleast we still uphold the man code. ALL HAIL THE MAN CODE!

the laugher. wanna know why? well. she's the only one who's able to laugh, no matter how corny or cheesy the joke is. i kid not. so it's a guarantee that there's someone to laugh if ever me and M would crack jokes. especially lame ones.

the ngemelboy growler. that's what reminds me of her. really. she always growls like an emo screamer with a bad case of the cough. really. and i love copying what she does. whenever she screams, i do the same too.XD oh oh, me, her, and Van likes to play our own little kicking game.:D

the calm one. she's always calm and peaceful.haha even when she's depressed. oh wait, especially when she's depressed. she's like an animatronic corpse! kidding. she's one of those girls that.. uh.. i dunno, smile?:D

the gaga. she's my deathpartner. yeah, you're not supposed to understand that. it's our secret. aanyway. she knows what i think, and i think i know what she thinks most of the time too. we're close. but really. it's weird that we're close in a very weird way. but i like it.:D

so there we have it. the souls that manage to save mine. well, for now.:D i'll post them most significant ones maybe soon. i dunno.;D oh oh and by the way, i'm changing my link as well. i guess i use insomnialimit too often now.:D i'll keep you guys posted for the link change.



*shiver* *shiver*

i don't know what i'm feeling right now. but thanks to the cold atleast i'm feeling the numbness in my limbs. i guess things aren't really cut out for me. M was really right. and i hate the fact that she always is. but the truth is undeniable and instinct sucks more than it should have. it's unbelievable that i don't feel anything; not even hate. and thank god i'm finally feeling the cold of past december. i hope vodka does its job soon enough. i have to ease off steam.

even though it sucks beyond comprehension, i guess i'll just be a friend to every girl i meet. even to the ones i fall for.


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