i'm a comedian!

Q: what do the girls in sex scandals scream?
A: i'm KHOming!

god that's so funny.


but really, i know you're either laughing or grinning.

i figured i had to make a joke about his last name because i heard the joke about his first name, which goes like:

Q: what do you call the video cameras they use for sex scandals?
A: a Hayden Camera!

really, if he had a middle/surname, i would find out and make a joke about that as well. just because i want to. no particular reason at all.LOL


so now i'm here in the lab with my buddies. namely Hansel, Ber, and Ceej. and i'm faced with the incredulous task of being bored for FIVE FREAKKING HOURS STRAIGHT. every tuesdays and fridays. which is absolutely fabulous. NOT. especially when i have no one to spend it with OR i have nothing to do during those FIVE wee long hours of boredom. I quit smoking last sunday. I have this bet thing with my friend, that every time i smoke, i should pay 10 pesos to our anti-smoking fund.

but then it hit me. what if we both got sick of not smoking some time in the middle of the term? then the purpose of the anti-smoking fund would be defeated, and it would be an ironic thing because the first thing that would pop out of our heads is to use the money to buy cigarettes! but really, hopefully that doesn't happen.

somehow, i find you unreasonable. but that wouldn't really matter much, because it's all gone down the drain anyway. and there's no use making something out of nothing because if there's no thing in the first place, what's the point? doesn't make sense? good.

so now that i'm bored, i guess i should post my '10 things i have to do before i die' list. yes, if you're gonna ask why it's only ten, it's because i want it to be ten. and ten is a mandatory number to majority of lists that exists in this world. fuck you if you have a good pun against that.

1. Stuff a live chicken with oregano and blow it with dynamite.
2. Shoot a cow with a bazooka.

--uh. fuck, i ran out of things to put! oh wait.i-Fi - C

3. Shooting a streaker with an anti-riot gun.
4. Dance like an ancient egyptian in front of a Muslim politician.
5. Be one of the first ones to Teleport.
6. Cook two turkeys in one oven that can actually just hold one turkey.
7. Stuff a chicken inside a Turkey and actually make it taste good.
8. Eat crocodile meat.
9. Have a camera implanted in my eyeball.
10. Create an inverse universe where everything is opposite!

so yeah. all of those things are insanely impossible. except for number one. which i can actually do, but i don't know where to get dynamite. ._.

oh oh. and i'll be creating one of those quizzes that rates if you know any trivial facts about me. hopefully someone will get past the 80% mark. but i doubt that anyone could even go past 50%. if someone passes 50%, i'll treat him/her for lunch! no really, i will. not.LOL



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